Apparently the Trump people are having trouble lining up acts willing to entertain their supporters at Inauguration Day events. Sure, as an embarrassment to Trump, this is a good thing. But it’s also an opportunity for those of us with hitherto unrecognized talent.
Look, I have never been able to find an audience for my operatic vocal stylings in the wider world outside the tiles that line my shower. Just because I have no musical training whatever…
So I see this as my big chance. Maybe the Trump people will be desperate enough to turn to that great, but completely unrecognized, bass-baritone, gtomkins (Maybe I need a catchier stage name. Suggestions?) for an evening of opera favorites. It would have to be a capella, because there probably isn’t enough time to train an orchestra to follow the twisted paths down which I would lead them. But it’ll be great. Just what this audience craves — discipline, suffering.
You say I’ld be selling out? Good, keep saying that. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, especially when you’ve never gotten any publiclity at all before.
But this isn’t just about me, ready as I am for my close-up. I am willing to share the spotlight with other unrecognized talent. So I offer this opportunity to the whole community at this site. Please submit your pitches, for your unrecognized talents that you feel would be appropriate entertainment on Inauguration Day. And, please, “appropriate” means, as a minimum, no acts involving golden showers. Some talents are best left hidden.
If the actually talented and ethical people in this country won’t step up to the plate, it’s left to those of us with no reputation and no conscience to fill the void.